Missing
I often wonder this myself. I have a few pairs of socks that I JUST KNOW that when I set them free, the other one will show up. (By set them free, I mean turn them into sock puppets or a, uh… paint rag).
I often wonder this myself. I have a few pairs of socks that I JUST KNOW that when I set them free, the other one will show up. (By set them free, I mean turn them into sock puppets or a, uh… paint rag).
I spent two years in uni having only three pairs of socks, since I’d misplaced all the others and never got around to buying more.
Turns out I’d actually made a sensible desicion and put them all in a drawer, but I didn’t think to look in the drawers when searching for them until I was packing to leave after graduation. I suppose I just assumed that I’d never use a sock drawer for its intended purpose?
Sadly, the divorce rate among socks is nearly as high as it is among people. And it’s harsher; one just ups and leaves. Oh, it may come back, but only after the sock that stayed is worn out and forgotten.
Sock divorce is not a pretty thing. And they never think of the little ankle socks they abandon.
Socks spontaneously explode into lint in the dryer. That’s why the lint filter is alway so full.
Erma Bombeck claimed that the missing sock was the immature form of the wire coat hanger.
Ever notice how wire coat hangers seem to multiply in the closet, while socks go missing? Now you know why . . . !
Washing machines eat socks. When I was in highshool My parents had a washing machine that choked on a sock. It would go through the wash cycle up until the time to drain the water out of the machine and then quit. We had someone come and look at it and he pulled a sock out of the drain pump.
Small Dave… wow. Uh… there’s a “male” joke in there… but I will refrain. But now, you know for next time… open drawer.
Pete… HA! Divorce rate… well, I have been mocked for my sock drawer… I have gobs of socks…. and lately, they have become unhappy with one-anothers… and many have gone off… who knows where!? I hope they are seeking counseling.
Guairdean (hello!Welcome!) That’s a great theory! It makes you want to make lint creatures… like sock creatures… or something.
DCS…. that’s a stretch! But it would explain things…
Eric… THAT is ONE POWERFUL DRAIN PUMP! I’d say industrial strength, for sure!
Whenever I found only one of a pair of socks while folding my laundry, I’d put the single sock in a trash bag that lives in my closet. At the end of the month, I keep finding matched pairs in that bag. It’s a mystery!
I safetypin mine together. Easy peasy.
I just buy all the same kind of sock. that way when one gets lost or worn out, a new pair is created!
DCS (and uwg),
There’s a related short story titled “…or all the seas with oysters” that, I am pretty sure, predates Bombeck’s piece. Iy doesn’t mention socks, but add safty pins and bicycles to the life cycle.
[correcting that closing sentence]
It doesn’t mention socks, but it adds safety pins and bicycles to the life cycle.
I love summer, because it means several weeks of NO SOCKS!
The rest of the year? We have a giant hamper full of unmated socks. Every morning, we dig through as if hunting for treasure, trying to find a matching pair. You’d think it’d be easy because 90% of them are short, white socks.
It’s a lie, I tell you. A terrible, horrible LIE!