Plotting
It seems to me that this would have made a good series at Halloween a few weeks ago rather than now.
And you have two ways of looking at this.
One…. if you put out the beer for the gnome, he may think that you are trying to kill the slugs with it (they shrivel up when they drink beer)… and this would be insinuating that the gnome was falling back on his job of irradicating slugs.
Two… Beer makes gnomes happy and they drink it and curl up under a bush. This allows you time to bonk it on the head.
I didn’t waste good beer on slugs – table salt is just as deadly.
He didn’t say it had to be good beer. Use that Walgreens beer that’s like $3 a 6 pack. Big Flats, I believe.
Actually beer only gets slugs drunk and they fall in and drown. Salt is what shrivels them up. Also, what you want to give a gnome (and any other type of fey creature) from what I’ve read is sweet cream and honey. It doesn’t have to be a lot of it either, just a small dish will do.
qka…. ah, yes, but you have to go search for them to salt them. The promise of beer gets them out of their hiding spots and dorm rooms.
Legacy… and how do YOU know about Walgreens’ brand beer? hmmm?
Pash… “I get knocked down, but I get up again…” Really? Sweet cream? and honey? Hmm…. well, I’ve got almond milk and half and half… do you think that would work?
Get ‘im and ‘er. A girl gnome (hopefully with a sweet disposition) for the boy gnome (who may find another way to vent his… energies, but for good, not evil.)
bonking a garden gnome on the head…hmmm…little randie foo foo…
I go with option two: Beer makes gnomes happy!
Go with the beer. It’s in a garden gnome’s nature to be plastered.
Pete… um…. I am picturing some things I SHOULD NOT be picturing right now. I don’t want that kind of thing in my head! Gah!
firedome… ha ha… “hopping through the garden… pick’n up the garden gnomes… and… Hey where’d they go?”
Joseph… as I understand it, beer makes most people happy… I’m more of a wine and spirits kind of gal…
A. Rat… ha ha … plastered … ha ha. ….
Hmmm, actually… a malicious gnome works as well for Christmas as it does for Hallowe’en.
A helper for Krampus or Belsnickel, perhaps? Of the two Belsnickle is the more friendly – he scares bad children into being good – strikes at them with a switch, but generally misses. Krampus, in some stories, kills and eats the bad children, or the ones that did not get shoes or stockings this year.
There is also Hinzelmann – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinzelmann – one of the sources of the original Jack-in-the-Box (the body of a small child found in an old mineshaft, sealed in a box pierced by two swords). Kobold (or Cobalt) rather than gnome, but a wee man, dressed in red, most of the time. Generally a sociable creature, except when he isn’t.
He has also manifested as a young boy, pierced by two blades.
And, like jolly old St. Nick, he visits on Christmas Eve….
And, of course, there is our old friend the Tomte (or Nisse) – who on midwinter has been known to change a bad little child into… a tomte! (Now how is that for a nightmare for Randie? Waking up with a pointy red hat on her head, and a garden spade in her hand….) Tomte are also known as Mound-farmers, and are associated with gardens and with farms.
And on Christmas you are supposed to give the Tomte, lest he grow angry. 🙂
The Auld Grump, you don’t want to know why Krampus carries a wicker basket n his back….
Hmmm, that last sentence was supposed to be ‘give a gift to the Tomte, lest he grow angry’.
The Auld Grump
Grump…. Yeah, you know, the whole Santa thing always threw me as a little kid… it’s like “who are you, again? Why are you giving me gifts and you say you love me? and you watch me to see if I’m bad or good.” It’s kinda creepy. And if I am bad, you give me coal…. when really, the switch might be more apropos.
Nisse make me happy. They are the Northern Gnomes. The paper variety hang out on shelves and stuff around Xmas. I kinda like them!