My name is Minotaur, Joe Minotaur. I’m a cop. I walk the comic strip beat looking for crimes against toons and their artists. Most cops carry a gun, I carry a net, a Dryadnet (Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum).
It was approaching noon, Sgt. Hanger and I needed to find something to eat besides the cafeteria food at the Narnia Police station.
“There’s a little theme café opening up a few blocks over, Joe.” Cliff says. “I noticed it this morning on my way in.”
“Well, anything’s gotta be better than the meatloaf they serve downstairs.” I say. “Let’s roll.”
We got in Cliff’s squad car. It was a late model MacGuffin with the Police Intercepter package. I hate budget cutbacks. We headed out and soon found ourselves(19 minutes later) parked near(a block and a half from) the café. The café was small and some of the people inside were strangely dressed. Like Cliff said, it was a theme café. We sat down and prepared to order. The waitress soon appeared and told us of the lunch specials.
“Welcome, Gents.” she says. “I must appologize, but we’ve just opened up and we only have a limited menu. Our cook, my husband, is really good and he can do a lot with what we do have.”
“Well, what have you got?” Cliff asks.
She says, “Spam.”
“Spam?” I ask.
“Yeah, Spam.” she says. “But don’t worry! We can slice it really thin and call it Canadian Spam Bacon. We can slice it thick and call it a Spam steak. We can put it in a bun with a slice of pineapple. That’s very popular in Hawaii. We can grind it up, add mayonaise and call it Spam salad, even add red pepper and call it Deviled Spam. We can put it in the shredded potatoes and call ‘em, Spam Hash Browns.”
“But, I don’t like Spam.” says Cliff.
“You don’t like Spam!” she says. She stands there shaking her pencil at him. “We’ve been setting this café up for three days and all that time, I’ve eaten nothing but Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam!”
The other patrons join in with the chant of, “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…”
The waitress turns and threatens them with her pencil, “SHADDUP!! I’ve had enough of you lot!” She turns back to us, “Bloody Vikings! Are you going to order or not.”
I shake my head and say, “No, because I can’t think of a single food I would hate more than Spam.” Sgt. Hanger and I both stand in agreement. We head for the door.
One of the Vikings at a nearby table turns to me and says, “A wise choice, Sir. Perhaps next time, you should order the Lutefisk.”
(Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum. Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum DAHH!!)
Jack… yah. It’s like that. It’s funny what some people will do for a little dough. Although, I have been known to do a cartwheel for a Voodoo Doughnut. It’s a sight to see!
Joe… and that concludes this week’s episode of Spam Theatre… tune in next week when….
(I really should try Lutefisk sometime).
Joe… Ah, Minnesota short-story humor. The Viking and lutefisk references are giveaways.
Liked it a lot. Might have the waitress’ Spam response be an ask rather than a say, as in…
“You don’t like Spam???” she scoffs.
brig… Ah, the promise of payment. The near universal motivator.
First you put in the work, all full of satisfaction.
Then you get your pay check less all the deductions.
Ha. Lawyers and prostitutes…they insist on their money (retainers) up front…or so I’m told.
stick… you know who else insists on money up front? Doc in the Box (Doctor’s on Duty)… Just to put your name on the list to see a doctor, it was $150 up front. Nice, eh?
brig… Yikes. But yes, you’re right. I too had to do a credit card deposit and more charges came after. Erk, they put me in a hospital on a Monterey visit last year. Worst part, there was no medication for what I had, but the hospital would not let me go and kept doing blood tests, assorted scans and lots of IV flushes. Nice hospital though. Funny name. CHOMP.
Did cha like my oh so subtle comparison of lawyers and prostitutes? Doc’s on Duty fit in too?
Before trying Lutefisk pull up this video on youtube.
It’s Guy Richmond (Man vs. Food) getting introduced to lutefisk while in Minnesota by Andrew Zimmer (Bizarre Foods). I think it speaks for itself. The video is long, almost 11 minutes, but the lutefisk part is only the first 2 and a half.
I too suffer from having to go to ” doc in a box” when I need medical help.
Yeah Stick, I know what you mean about chomp. I’ve been admitted to that place more times than I care to say. ( I’m a bit accident prone, and if someone’s going to get hurt, it’s usually me.) So I know all about their procedures.
Brig, stick-figurer,
This was the 19th out of 30 installments in the Det. Joe Minotaur series that I wrote for the GoComics Pibgorn comments section. The waitress is not shocked that Sgt. Cliff Hanger doesn’t like Spam. It’s more like she is saying, “You think you don’t like Spam!…”
As far as Lutefisk goes… I’d rather eat pickled herring. 20 year OLD pickled herring.
Joe… If you haven’t already, give the youtube video I gave the title above to a shot. It takes place in Minnesota and not only will you likely appreciate the lutefisk segment in the beginning, you’ll probably like the viking meeting that follows it too.
Was lucky to be in town for the FF of this evening and, what do you know, spam cubes with pineapple chunks on a toothpick make darn good hors d’oeuvres…did I just say horse do-overs? Anyway, pretty good snackings they were.
stick-figurer,
Okay, I have seen the entire episode with the Lutefisk, Juicy(Jucy) Lucy and the Meter long Bratwurst. He finished the Brat and the Lucy, but not the fish. Poor baby.
I have had Lutefisk three times and finished it off each time. It doesn’t get any easier.
BTW has he had Chitlins?
Joe… Yeh, that Adam guy is so animated and the expression on his face as he takes in a mouthful of lutefisk is just so hilariously funny that it never grows old. I also love how the person rinsing out the lutefisk in the background segment has his/her hands and arms fully covered.
Actually you saw the whole second half of the entire episode. I’m sure that whoever posted it also posted a part “a.”
I didn’t recall Adam ever trying chitlins, and a search found no results. I guess even food gluttony challenge takers can only punish their systems so much. Gotta draw the line somewheres. I saw the American “Soul” version is pork and boiled first, fried second (sorta bagelish but oh so worse). On wikipedia they also showed its eaten all over the world in various forms (sheep, pork, beef) and various ways (stuffed, chopped, grilled, fried, barbecued, in soup).
So did you ever try any? How about haggis? Nelson at the FF last night mentioned it, and then I saw an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives later in the night that had Guy Fieri trying it and even having his kid (along for the episode) try it too. His son thought it was OK, Guy was not so moved after seeing it made. Lucky for them there are some food laws in the US that prohibit including such things as lungs and spleens…so it was not at full consistency.
Money has that power.
Joe Minotaur: 19 Grams of Fat.
My name is Minotaur, Joe Minotaur. I’m a cop. I walk the comic strip beat looking for crimes against toons and their artists. Most cops carry a gun, I carry a net, a Dryadnet (Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum).
It was approaching noon, Sgt. Hanger and I needed to find something to eat besides the cafeteria food at the Narnia Police station.
“There’s a little theme café opening up a few blocks over, Joe.” Cliff says. “I noticed it this morning on my way in.”
“Well, anything’s gotta be better than the meatloaf they serve downstairs.” I say. “Let’s roll.”
We got in Cliff’s squad car. It was a late model MacGuffin with the Police Intercepter package. I hate budget cutbacks. We headed out and soon found ourselves(19 minutes later) parked near(a block and a half from) the café. The café was small and some of the people inside were strangely dressed. Like Cliff said, it was a theme café. We sat down and prepared to order. The waitress soon appeared and told us of the lunch specials.
“Welcome, Gents.” she says. “I must appologize, but we’ve just opened up and we only have a limited menu. Our cook, my husband, is really good and he can do a lot with what we do have.”
“Well, what have you got?” Cliff asks.
She says, “Spam.”
“Spam?” I ask.
“Yeah, Spam.” she says. “But don’t worry! We can slice it really thin and call it Canadian Spam Bacon. We can slice it thick and call it a Spam steak. We can put it in a bun with a slice of pineapple. That’s very popular in Hawaii. We can grind it up, add mayonaise and call it Spam salad, even add red pepper and call it Deviled Spam. We can put it in the shredded potatoes and call ‘em, Spam Hash Browns.”
“But, I don’t like Spam.” says Cliff.
“You don’t like Spam!” she says. She stands there shaking her pencil at him. “We’ve been setting this café up for three days and all that time, I’ve eaten nothing but Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam!”
The other patrons join in with the chant of, “Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…”
The waitress turns and threatens them with her pencil, “SHADDUP!! I’ve had enough of you lot!” She turns back to us, “Bloody Vikings! Are you going to order or not.”
I shake my head and say, “No, because I can’t think of a single food I would hate more than Spam.” Sgt. Hanger and I both stand in agreement. We head for the door.
One of the Vikings at a nearby table turns to me and says, “A wise choice, Sir. Perhaps next time, you should order the Lutefisk.”
(Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum. Dum-m, Da Dum-Dum DAHH!!)
Jack… yah. It’s like that. It’s funny what some people will do for a little dough. Although, I have been known to do a cartwheel for a Voodoo Doughnut. It’s a sight to see!
Joe… and that concludes this week’s episode of Spam Theatre… tune in next week when….
(I really should try Lutefisk sometime).
Joe… Ah, Minnesota short-story humor. The Viking and lutefisk references are giveaways.
Liked it a lot. Might have the waitress’ Spam response be an ask rather than a say, as in…
“You don’t like Spam???” she scoffs.
brig… Ah, the promise of payment. The near universal motivator.
First you put in the work, all full of satisfaction.
Then you get your pay check less all the deductions.
Ha. Lawyers and prostitutes…they insist on their money (retainers) up front…or so I’m told.
stick… you know who else insists on money up front? Doc in the Box (Doctor’s on Duty)… Just to put your name on the list to see a doctor, it was $150 up front. Nice, eh?
brig… Yikes. But yes, you’re right. I too had to do a credit card deposit and more charges came after. Erk, they put me in a hospital on a Monterey visit last year. Worst part, there was no medication for what I had, but the hospital would not let me go and kept doing blood tests, assorted scans and lots of IV flushes. Nice hospital though. Funny name. CHOMP.
Did cha like my oh so subtle comparison of lawyers and prostitutes? Doc’s on Duty fit in too?
Before trying Lutefisk pull up this video on youtube.
It’s Guy Richmond (Man vs. Food) getting introduced to lutefisk while in Minnesota by Andrew Zimmer (Bizarre Foods). I think it speaks for itself. The video is long, almost 11 minutes, but the lutefisk part is only the first 2 and a half.
It’s title is…
Man V Food S01 E18b
I too suffer from having to go to ” doc in a box” when I need medical help.
Yeah Stick, I know what you mean about chomp. I’ve been admitted to that place more times than I care to say. ( I’m a bit accident prone, and if someone’s going to get hurt, it’s usually me.) So I know all about their procedures.
Brig, stick-figurer,
This was the 19th out of 30 installments in the Det. Joe Minotaur series that I wrote for the GoComics Pibgorn comments section. The waitress is not shocked that Sgt. Cliff Hanger doesn’t like Spam. It’s more like she is saying, “You think you don’t like Spam!…”
As far as Lutefisk goes… I’d rather eat pickled herring. 20 year OLD pickled herring.
And would that lutefisk be served with lefse? I wonder how lefse would taste with Spam?
Joe… If you haven’t already, give the youtube video I gave the title above to a shot. It takes place in Minnesota and not only will you likely appreciate the lutefisk segment in the beginning, you’ll probably like the viking meeting that follows it too.
Was lucky to be in town for the FF of this evening and, what do you know, spam cubes with pineapple chunks on a toothpick make darn good hors d’oeuvres…did I just say horse do-overs? Anyway, pretty good snackings they were.
stick-figurer,
Okay, I have seen the entire episode with the Lutefisk, Juicy(Jucy) Lucy and the Meter long Bratwurst. He finished the Brat and the Lucy, but not the fish. Poor baby.
I have had Lutefisk three times and finished it off each time. It doesn’t get any easier.
BTW has he had Chitlins?
Joe… Yeh, that Adam guy is so animated and the expression on his face as he takes in a mouthful of lutefisk is just so hilariously funny that it never grows old. I also love how the person rinsing out the lutefisk in the background segment has his/her hands and arms fully covered.
Actually you saw the whole second half of the entire episode. I’m sure that whoever posted it also posted a part “a.”
I didn’t recall Adam ever trying chitlins, and a search found no results. I guess even food gluttony challenge takers can only punish their systems so much. Gotta draw the line somewheres. I saw the American “Soul” version is pork and boiled first, fried second (sorta bagelish but oh so worse). On wikipedia they also showed its eaten all over the world in various forms (sheep, pork, beef) and various ways (stuffed, chopped, grilled, fried, barbecued, in soup).
So did you ever try any? How about haggis? Nelson at the FF last night mentioned it, and then I saw an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives later in the night that had Guy Fieri trying it and even having his kid (along for the episode) try it too. His son thought it was OK, Guy was not so moved after seeing it made. Lucky for them there are some food laws in the US that prohibit including such things as lungs and spleens…so it was not at full consistency.